Some of us are a bit more fragile on the inside than others

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“Some of us are a bit more fragile on the inside than others, and you know what – that’s okay!”

That certainly is true, isn’t it – on both counts!

Often in the world of goal achievement or personal development and in life in general, the view is that you need to be mighty and strong, full on testosterone, charging straight ahead, marching over anything in your way.

Now, some people are like that and yes, they can get a lot done, but not everyone is like that. Not at all, and it would be a nonsense to suggest otherwise.

Some people are quiet, sensitive. Some people are shy to a point of it being painful. Some people may have disabilities, physical or mental.

What’s to happen with people like that? Are they just to be ignored, are they to be the ones that get trodden over by the stronger ones?

To be blunt, the answer is that yes, often they are. The key thing though, is that it doesn’t have to be that way, and here‘s what you can do about it…

There are two solutions – the first one is that people who are a bit more fragile on the inside can develop the stronger characteristics. Obviously if the issues are shyness or a deep-rooted sense of low self esteem, then that ability or willingness to learn in the first place might be lower, but it’s there nonetheless.

This is a case where one of the internet’s strengths can really come into play too – people can learn these skills in their own time, at their own pace, and without anyone else needing to know, if that’s the way someone prefers it!

It may take time, it may be uncomfortable, but it can be done, and believe me, the people in the ‘full on macho’ crowd also take time and go through discomfort to learn new things, they just have a combination of hiding the discomfort better and accepting the difficulties better.

The other solution to the problem of how the more fragile people can flourish in seemingly macho only worlds, includes the fact that the very macho sense is often just that, a sense, or pretence.

There are many fragile people in the world, many more than the fragile people think there are, and sometimes it’s the most macho seeming people who are the most fragile.

In today’s world, it’s easier than ever to find and align yourself with like-minded people, who can help each other move forwards. In addition to that, today’s world has a much better understanding and acceptance of the softer side of people’s character. The shy, quiet, fragile ones, are less ‘looked down on’ than previously, and rightly so.

Being more fragile is not a fault, it’s not wrong. Skills can be learnt, including assertiveness and self belief but that is not to deny the way we are, it’s not to say we should pretend to be something we’re not.

Part of the distress felt by the fragile people is that they feel they do need to pretend or they harbour the negative belief that they are somehow less than others.

A big part of the solution is that the fragile people firstly need to accept and understand in the first place that they themselves play their part in encouraging those damaging beliefs, and secondly that they are okay being the way they are; as long as they recognise it rather than dismissing it as a failure of some sort.

Not everyone wants to be a ‘climb to the top of the mountain’ type person, and nor should they have to be. If they do want to move forwards from where they currently are though, the opportunities we have around us provide ample help and motivation.

That being said, some people simply are more fragile on the inside, and yes, it really is okay!
If you consider yourself in the ‘not weak’ group, that’s great, but don’t forget to consider the more fragile ones in the world.
If you’re in the ‘more fragile’ group, then there are plenty of options to make yourself stronger, but only if you want to, Remember being ‘you’ is just fine too.

Kobi Emmanuella-King

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